I should probably update.

So, sorry about the lack of posts. I've done most of my computer stuff on Dad's computer, because mine lags on sites with a lot of Flash, and my cousin was always up in the spare room where my computer is, so I had to use Dad's a lot. Not that I minded much - his computer is so much faster than mine.

Not much has happened since the tent sale. Justin (my cousin) didn't come back for his stuff, so Mom and I had to bag it all up... including his dirty laundry. eww. There's still a pair of his underwear that we somehow missed, and his umbrella. Dad came home from work not long after we started packing things up, so he helped with packing boxes and the heavy lifting; and when Brent (my uncle) arrived, he helped pack it all into Brent's Jeep.

Anyway. We couldn't go out for dinner on my birthday, so we went out for breakfast/lunch/brunch instead - the restaurant we went to has all-day breakfast, so my parents ordered off the breakfast menu and I ordered off the lunch menu. Then we went to the British imports shop and bought candy and stuff. We even bought a kebab-flavoured Pot Noodle, which I ate for lunch yesterday. It tasted pretty good, although I had to add a little bit of the chili sauce that came with it to perk up the flavour a bit.

Yesterday we went to Denninger's to buy a cake. I decided on a cute little square cake, because it didn't make sense to buy a huge cake since only three people were eating it. It's a chocolate/mocha/caramel cake, and it's absolutely delicious. We bought cold-cuts and chocolate, too, and ordered Chinese take-out for dinner.

Mom annoyed me this morning by telling me that tomorrow I had to 'hit the books, make a schedule and stick to it, and take my GED stuff seriously'. I guess she didn't notice all the GED English work I've done. Granted, I did my work in spits and spurts, but whatever.

Anyway, that's pretty much it. I'll try to post more often :)

Ah, the library

Mom and I walked down to the library. Most of my holds were CDs and DVDs. I was only expecting three CDs, so I was pleasantly surprised when I saw The White Stripes' Get Behind Me Satan on the shelf :) My DVDs are a National Geographic documentary on Amelia Earhart, a John Lennon concert DVD, Night At The Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian and X-2: X-Men United. So I'm set for knitting movies.

Mom threw a hissy-fit over pizza. Pizza. She asked me where we should order from, and at first I didn't know and said something like 'I don't know who has good pizza anymore', and then I suggested a place we've liked before. Apparently, she told me to tell my dad, but if she did, I didn't hear her. So she goes, "WELL, if nobody has ideas about where to order pizza from, nobody gets pizza!", so I snapped back that I gave her an idea, and she yelled "I TOLD YOU TO GO TELL YOUR DAD!" Then it was an argument of 'no you didn't' 'yes I did'.

Ooooohhhh, now I'm not allowed to get angry when she asks me a question. I'll repeat myself again! WATCH YOUR OWN DAMN MOVIE!

Sorry about that. Apparently, I can't have an opinion, and I can't watch my DVDs unless I wait for other people...?

We went to Michaels, but I didn't get anything because supposedly, the beads I wanted to get weren't on clearance, and someone put them there from another rack. Which is a load of crap, because there was more than one of them...

I'm almost done the ninth volume of Fruits Basket, which makes me happy.

Hmm, what else? Mom's getting on my back about GED work (honestly, there's only so much I can absorb in a day, she should chillax. She's made it quite clear that I'm not good enough to go to university.), and, uh, life is bearable.

♪Lines form on my face and hands...♪

I'm just listening to the tail-end of 'Eighteen' by Alice Cooper. Oh, it's finished now; time for a new song...

...okay, Thin Lizzy it is.

So my mom gave me another talking-to about how my tiredness and lack of science knowledge are my own fault (um, who was responsible for my education for twelve years?). Needless to say, I'm livid. Granted, I did tell her to f--k off, but rightly so because she made fun of me for saying that my yawning was to blame for messing up on my science diagnostic test (what I meant was that I was tired and put the wrong answer down, but whatever).

I actually considered running off to the library, but there's probably snow on the sidewalks, so I'll just wait until Dad gets home and ask for a ride. He's very sympathetic when it comes to Mom's attitude.

Apparently, I'm fat and stupid

I know that my mother can access this blog through Ravelry, and quite frankly, I don't give a rat's ass.

She thinks that the librarian not checking in season one of Heroes is my fault, because Dad dealt with it instead of me, and that I'm an adult and must deal with these things, even if Dad offers to. WTF?!

All I can say is !@#$ her.

I am thoroughly depressed.

The 'fat' part is because she says I'm getting a muffin top, and that I watch too much TV, and that because of my TV watching I'm going to get heart disease. Apparently, she doesn't notice the time I spend in my room, listening to the radio and/or reading/knitting.'

!@#$ HER.

Hmm. Ten minutes until In Treatment comes on. I think I'll grab a book, too.

She thinks she's soooooo clever.

So, I went to Value Village yesterday and got a bunch of nice skirts, including three everyday skirts that can go in the wash with t-shirts and such. Two of those everyday skirts are kinda Pretty in Pink-ish, and they're both made by the same company, lol. They're both long skirts, one is yellowy and bluey, the other is mainly red. The third skirt is a short navy skirt with some white print thing on it. The nicer skirts I got were a pink wraparound skirt, a green, orange and black plaid skirt and a black and white summery skirt with a black ribbon sewn on. I also got a cute little black cardigan and a pea-green fooler shirt.

And then today I went to Zellers, and there were clearance racks out front, so I got three shirts - one brown, one blue and white and one white - and a cami (which MOM picked out, but I'll get to that later).

Here's the catch:

Mom and I went into Zellers to catch up with Dad, and she said to me, "You know how you're paying for the shirts?" I was going to suggest that I'd pay, and then she says...

"By going to the leadership course at church."

*Bangs head against wall* I KNEW IT!!!!!

She says that it's $10 for the course because I'm an adherent, and she doesn't have to pay because she's a member. I don't know if she's doing this stupid course or not. Nor do I know how long this stupid course is. And I looked at the church newsletter online, and it's described as a 'spiritual leadership course' for 'spiritual leaders and potential leaders'. 1) I am not a church minister, and 2) I don't plan on being a church minister (bit of a Ferris Bueller reference there ;P). Mom says she's paying for me to go, but still....!$#$!#@# She is such a bitch sometimes. I'll go to this stupid course if she absolutely WANTS me to, but as soon as I get home, I'm blasting some Green Day. Grrr.

Maybe I should fake an illness. Or maybe I can talk my way out of going. Or maybe I can casually schedule a dentist appointment on that day. Wait, I wonder if my appointment at Dr. G's (the dental surgeon who's going to put my fake tooth in) is on that day? *crosses fingers*

I'm just not into all that cutesy leadership shit. All that 'fall backwards and let the person behind you catch you' shit. It's pointless. AND tasteless. And this stupid course is all because of our 'new settled minister'. Gawd. I hope this minister isn't weird.

I think I'm going to ask Dad if he can help me replaces the batteries in my watches. That way I can keep track of time during days of bullshit.

Maybe I'll sign up for the sushi-making course. Or tai chi. Maybe I can convince Mom that tai chi would be better in the long run than some stupid spiritual leadership course (which doesn't sound non-minister friendly ANYWAY).

I have also been trying to figure out how to change the template on Word '07, because my dad says there's a resume template. I'll have to ask him.

Ah, Smokey Robinson. I love this guy. And YouTube.

I also need to install my camera software. And see about getting my computer's power switch looked at.

ETA: oh yeah, I decided to frog my novelty yarn sunglasses case and instead make a scarf with the same two yarns.

iTunes is annoying me

SOMEHOW some songs from 21st Century Breakdown skip on iTunes. The only possible reason that I can think of is that the disc skipped when I ripped it. But, I don't remember bumping into my desk or anything! Augh! It did the same thing with a song from Maximum Cowbell, too! Stupid friggin' iTunes! I might have to re-rip the whole disc now!

And after I got off my computer the first time this morning, I went downstairs and said something like, "Wow, the SUN came out while I was on my computer!" and she was all, "You should be dressed for when the guy comes to put the door in! That's why I wanted you up early!" Uh, I was in pajamas and a robe. I was covered. But that wasn't good enough for HER, so I put on my black t-shirt and the green shorts I wore to youth group last night. Screw her. I might go to the park or the library later to escape her constant friggin' CRITICISM. Grrr.

At least the Rocky Horror Picture Show soundtrack ripped properly. And I do have 21st Century Breakdown on a CD, so that's cool.

Could things POSSIBLY get any shittier?

1. I couldn't go to that movie because it was in the afternoon, and it was downtown. I didn't have enough money handy, so I would've had to go to the bank, then catcha bus downtown, and there was no way Mom was letting me take the bus downtown on my own, even if Micaela waited at the bus stop for me.

2. Mom and I are fighting again. It started with me trying to punch in the number for the HD channels while she was telling me what number to punch in, even though I already knew what number the HD channels started at. Then, I walked out of the room, and the following discussion took place:

Mom: "You need to stop being so bitchy!" (or something to that effect - I'm too pissed off to remember the exact words)

Me: "YOU need to stop being so controlling!" (I walk upstairs)

Mom: "GET DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!"

Me: (ignores her)

Dad: (calls my name loudly - the standard, obligatory yell)

Me: (starts walking back down)

Dad: "And don't stomp!"

Me: (walks the rest of the way down and stands several feet away from Mom)

Mom: "I AM NOT CONTROLLING! IF ANYTHING, I'M THE ONE PUSHING YOU TO GET OUT AND DO STUFF!"

Me: while walking downstairs "If that's true, then you would've let me go to that movie!"

Mom: "COME HERE AND SAY IT TO MY FACE!"

Me: (muttering) "No. I'm not gonna fight with you."

Yes, my mother is a piece of work for sure. I should've just walked out. Gone to Tim Horton's. Or the library, if they were open at the time. Or the park. Something. But instead, I decided to stew. And I'm still stewing. And my headphones were being stupid, but that's not unusual. Damn headphones. I hope I get a new pair for my birthday. Maybe I'll ask Nathan for a pair.

So right now I'm half-watching the friendly match between Toronto FC and Real Madrid. Right now, Madrid is kicking Toronto's asses 3-0. Come on, guys! Get with the program!

Crap, I forgot it was a holiday Monday

I hate holiday Mondays.

I hate them because, if someone decides to start an argument that makes you want to walk out the door and go somewhere, anywhere, most places are closed. The library's closed (the library by our house is always closed on Mondays, though), the local businesses like the coffee shop are closed, Zarky's is closed, almost everywhere is closed. Except, perhaps, for Tim Horton's. I'm not sure if they're open on long weekends.

This long weekend has, like most, royally sucked. Mom just went into Bitch Mode today. I've no idea why she did, but she did. All I know is that she stomped up the stairs and into her room and slammed the door. When I went downstairs to get water or something like that, Dad was washing dishes and asked me to dry. After a few hours, Mom came down and watched TV for a bit. After I'd gone back up to my computer, she started bitching Dad out. I don't know what she was bitching about, and quite frankly, I didn't care. I just wanted her to shut the hell up.

I wonder who flipped her bitch switch - me or Dad. Or maybe it was both of us. But I'm past caring. The worst part? Dad gets to work tomorrow, and I have to put up with her. Lucky him.

My head's been aching on and off, too, which doesn't make matters better. My arms have, too, but that's from knitting and typing. I think the headache's from the weather, because I get weather change headaches all the time.

Boredom

Yup. iz bored.

Mom's still being bitchy. But that's normal.

I found the name of a movie that was in my head for a couple of days. It's called The Mighty. It's hard to describe, but it's a great movie. And it has Meatloaf in it!

Dad still hasn't put that network card in my computer, so I'm still using his.

I have two burnt-out lightbulbs in my room. I took one out, and then the second one went and I haven't taken it out yet. I can't put new ones in because we have no more energy-saving bulbs left.

I still have to watch my DVDs from the library.

I hate cramps...

Yep, it's 'that time of the month'. The time during which I take painkillers and bitch about there being no chocolate in the house. Except chocolate chips, but I don't think my mom wants me eating them because they're really for baking.

Mom wants to do something tomorrow. I suggested going to see a movie, because I think the independent theatre by our house still has Star Trek. I'll have to see what Famous Players/Cineplex Odeon has on tomorrow. Are they the same company? I don't know. Maybe Cineplex Odeon is still separate from Famous Players. Maybe I'll go on Famous Players' site after I finish this post.

In addition to my cramps, I'm a bit bloated. Maybe my too-big shorts will fit me now! LOL!

Church was good yesterday, except for the fact that Mom was embarrassed about me not saying hello to anyone when we were asked to 'greet our neighbors' during the service. I always hate that part. I hate the big cheery smiles and the "Hello! What's YOUR name?"s. And then there was the time when I was walking up to the loft on a Wednesday night and someone asked, "Can I help you?" as if I were some weirdo rummaging around the church. So my mom proceeded to lecture me TWICE that day about being nicer to people and talking to them and 'you'll never do well in college or university if you never talk to people' and AAAARRRRGGGHHHH!!!!!! WHAT THE HELL?! Just because I hate talking to people in church doesn't mean I can't talk to people period! And stop lecturing me about chores and shit! Who feeds the dogs and the cat? ME! Who washes towels when Dad forgets to wash them? ME! Who puts out the garbage and recycles when Dad forgets?! YEAH, IT'S ME! SO LAY OFF!!!!

Being cramped up doesn't make matters better. At least it gives me an excuse to sit around reading or knitting. I cast on my first washcloth for Charms the other day. Maybe it was yesterday. I can't remember. And I worked on it while watching Bolt.

In which Merenwen battles indigestion and other nuisances.

Chili and a Coke? What was I THINKING?!

Actually, the chili was kinda weak. Next time I'll put hot sauce in it and have the Pepto tablets at the ready.

Youth group was good and bad. The good news was that I got my point across about actually doing things, and we might have meetings over the summer! The bad news was that Stone was there, and was being obnoxious. I didn't walk out of the loft, though, until close to the end of the meeting when I went to see if Dad was there yet. But Stone said some stuff that I think he should have kept to himself. Private stuff. I won't say who it was about. But let's just say I'm pissed.

When I got back from youth group, I told my mom about the possibility of summer meetings. I said something like, "Stephen suggested that we have meetings over the summer..." and Mom said "No." Then I told her about how I suggested that we have the summer meetings be ever other week instead of every week. I'm so pissed that she automatically said no. What is her problem with summer meetings? Is she planning something for the summer and isn't telling me? I don't have to go to every meeting, just as many as possible! And Stephen would totally understand if I miss a meeting due to doing something with my family!!!!!

On a happier note, I think I'll try getting back into journal writing. I think I miss it. I've picked up I Capture the Castle again after a long break from it - reading it is something else I've missed. I seem to be in a reading funk - plus, I've been kicking myself because I didn't get this book at Indigo about Mary Shelley when I got my bargain books there. Damn! And I can't remember what it was called or who wrote it! I'll have to go to Indigo and see if I can find it. I like Indigo better than Chapters - even though they're the same company now, I like Indigo better because it's better ordganised.

I listened to the library's copy of Pink Floyd's The Final Cut. It's interesting. Very bitter, but interesting. I think a sound effect from one of the songs actually made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up - I was listening to the CD on headphones, so I was able to hear everything pretty clearly.

I might walk down to the library tomorrow, if I feel up to it. Today I only felt like reading. And I felt miserable earlier. But I think I'm okay now. I'm just sick of all this crap with my family. I wish my brother would call home. I wish Mom would get off my case about what I should be learning. I wish I had the courage to walk to the library by myself. I wish Grandpa wouldn't be such an ass. I wish Patti would get over herself and stop acting like a child. I wish I'd spent my childhood better. I feel like I'm running out of time.

Getting back into the swing of things.

Hey, sorry I haven't posted in a while. There's not much to recap, actually - I went out for dinner with Mom, Dad, Grandma and Grandpa on Wednesday, and skipped youth group. I want to go to youth group tomorrow, though, because I haven't been going for... three, four weeks?

Oh, and I signed up for the HP Knitting and Crochet House Cup on Ravelry, which should be fun. I hope I get sorted into Ravenclaw :)

So Monday (yesterday) I started doing schoolwork again after my very extended break (eep!). Started with biology, then writing, then reading, then lunch. After that, it was world history, then math. Then a bit of music, I think, but not much. We've got this Usbourne piano classics book that I've been trying to use, but I can't read the chords. There are these numbers above some parts of the pieces, but... do they stand for chords?! So I've been trying to 'sound out' the chords, just playing a chord that has the right key in it... and hoping for the best.

My darling Ma thinks that I need to get into a rhythm with my schoolwork. I haven't been letting on that I have a rhythm sorted out, though. Maybe I'll write it out on the whiteboard so that she can see that I'm trying to keep my education organised...

So, for math, I'm still doing polynomials. For biology, I'm using my anatomy colouring book (yeah, I said 'colouring book'), since Human 3D will not work. For 'Lit' I'm just reading the sixth Harry Potter book (I want to finish it in time for when the movie comes out), writing has been working on my Harry Potter fanfiction (which is almost complete), and for world history I've been reading through that WWII book, which is interesting. I learned last week (I didn't do much work last week, but I did read a few pages of the WWII book) that the economy was so bad in Germany back then that housewives used their paper money for their stoves, because the paper money was worthless.

Math has been treating me good today. I've learned the Zero Product Rule, which I friggin' love. It's fairly simple to understand. The only problem is that some of the polynomials on which I have to use the Zero Product Rule only have two expressions, so I don't know how to factor them, thus I don't know how to use the ZPR on them. I might have to ask my mom to look up the page in the answer key, so that I know what do to with them.

Oh yeah. I woke up rather early. It must've been really early, because my dad was up, and he gets up early. He and my mom were bickering over an open window. At first I thought, oh my god, did the cat get out? But then I think I heard the tag and bells on her collar jingling. The kitty's fine. My mother, on the other hand, keeps making references to the argument by saying that 'I was called a liar this morning'. Ha! Big deal! I'm called a 'miserable child' daily, because my !@#$ing irritating father thinks I'm miserable all the time. Is it because I make bitter remarks? Or because I don't smile as much as he'd like?

I know I've been a bitch lately, but it's mainly because of: stress + not having a contract at the dojo anymore = anger and bitterness.

Ah, life... it's a bitch.

Howdy, folks

Today's been a day of good and bad stuff. First, the bad.

• I woke up at around 6 or 7 in the morning, because Mouse (who is in heat) and Smiles came down to my room.
• When Mom told me there were pancakes, I wasn't sure what I wanted to eat, and she said something like 'can't say I didn't make an effort'. No comment.
• Mom freaked out after I said "And before you say anything, I didn't deliberately drop it (a piece of pancake) on the floor." She started yelling at me about how her patience is wearing thin, and how she rarely yells at me, and whenever she does I should take a hint. WTF?! How about my feelings?! I've been feeling pretty rotten lately, maybe even depressed, and she bitches me out?!
• Toronto FC lost the soccer match today :(
• Oh, and my mother's probably pissed off because I won't go eat dinner right now because I friggin' filled up on chips during the soccer match, in case she hadn't noticed!!!!!!!!
  

And now, the good:

• Dad left me some chip dip.
• I finally got to see The Blues Brothers. Friggin' sweet.

I have to remember to listen to tonight's episode of Nights with Alice Cooper. I always forget about it.

Oh, and Graham Norton should be on tonight.

And I watched Elvis Costello's talk show last night. It was brilliant.

A very long post

I am so pissed off with my mother.

I don't recall her EVER saying that we were going to the silent auction thing at the church. She may have said something, but I can't remember. So now I can't go bowling with the youth group on Saturday.

Well, if by Saturday I am STILL not allowed to go bowling with the youth group, I'm staying home. No way am I going to that silent auction. The last time we went to a silent auction event (which was the fall festival concert/silent auction a few years ago), I wound up between two tables. This silent auction is a fundraiser, I think, with Indian dancers performing. I'm sure the dancers would be great to watch, and I have nothing against it. I just don't want to go.

I'd rather stay home and:

• Listen to the Galaxie music stations real loud
• Read a book
• Watch a movie - probably Rocky Horror or Shock Treatment. Although, I do have the second Harry Potter movie, which I haven't watched in a while, along with The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy. And many others. Hell, if I still have Labyrinth out of the library on Saturday night, maybe I'll watch THAT again. David Bowie looks quite dashing in it - I love how he says to Sarah (Jennifer Connolley), "Forget about the baby." Just the way he says it is oddly alluring.
• Eat junk food
• Play Final Fantasy VIII (if I can figure out how to use my PSone with the new TV)
• Go on Facebook and change my status to something snarky

So yeah. I'm pissed.

I'm also on an 80s music kick. Especially Billy Idol.

My Calorimetry is coming along nicely. I worked on it yesterday while watching Labyrinth. It was the first time I watched it, and I loved it!!!

Youth group was alright last night. Riley was there for a bit, but he left partway through the meeting. Somebody threw a shoe at me, which pissed me off. I don't think it was on purpose, though - I think it was aimed at someone else. We played charades in the sanctuary, and then Emma turned the lights out, so I got pissed off and walked back to the loft. Then we ate chips.

And Vicky brought a guy with her named Patrick. He seems like a nice guy. I think he and Riley know each other from their old middle school.

I hate my mother. I should ask the Goblin King (aka David Bowie) to take her away, just for Saturday night, so that I can go bowling.

I hate my mother. She's nosy as hell, and always finds a way to guilt-trip me.

I hate my mother. In an argument (or a Very Loud Debate), she always thinks she's right and will not acknowledge that, perhaps, someone else might have a good point.

I hate my mother. She focused on turning my brother into a genuis while I was stuck simplifying fractions while HE got to do friggin' GEOMETRY!!!!!

...did I mention that I hate my mother? ;)

Just a quick post.

I really don't get it.

Okay, so I didn't do math yesterday. I was going to last night, but I forgot. So Mom tells me to do math after breakfast, even though I put down math for 1:00 PM on my schedule. I tell her that I can't always do math in the morning, and she gives me the 'you can't choose when you do math in college or university!' BS. Come on! Who says I'm gonna do math in uni, anyway?! Maybe I'll study friggin' fashion design, which probably only requires some adding, subtracting, multiplication, division, and geometry! Oh, yeah, and Mom? How come you NEVER let me do geometry when I was younger, huh?!

...I feel a bit better.

Ginger ale is my elixer

I've had a weird stomach today. I've been eating in spits and spurts, instead of gorging like I normally do. Thanks to ginger ale and some Pepto, though, it's not too bad now.

In fact, I'm feeling hungry again.

Yesterday I decided that I needed to make a lesson plan, to which my know-it-all mother replied, "That's what I've been saying all along." I'm convinced that the reason why my education has been all weirded out is because...

1. She taught me science when I was younger, and now I've forgotten a good chunk of it.

2. She would focus on my brother and give me busywork to do while she turned him into a boy genius. Now, I know my brother was lazy and stubborn, and he needed to be badgered to do his work, but I was left hanging with annoying fractions, not-so-annoying English and a French book that I didn't really like. I used a science workbook as well when I was about 12 or 13, but I was still lacking something. For history, we had all these heavy books on Canadian history, or the childrens' books from the library. I honestly preferred the childrens' books, because it was the same stuff, but in an easier-to-understand style. And they have pictures. And the font is a good size. I also flipped through books from the library on the Romans and the Celts, and some books on Japanese culture and history. But something was still lacking. My mother now claims that she was going to order owl pellets for us to dissect, but she didn't, because I had told her that I 'didn't want to touch owl poop'. Well, that's a load of bullshit, because I had been reading Skellig at the time (great book, by the way), and I was interested in owl pellets. And, if I remember correctly, they aren't 'owl poop', because owl pellets are coughed up! And, I'm sorry, but Canadian History for Dummies and other textbooks aren't the way I like to learn Canadian history. I learn it in smaller chunks. Deal with it. And I can't learn science from a friggin' fact book, either! I've tried it, and while it works for some things, it doesn't work for others! And if you want me to study geography, I am not learning it from Don't Know Much About Geography, because that book is dry, boring, depressing and nigh colourless. All of the pictures are in black and white. That's no way to learn geography. I also don't want to read that awful book because I'm sick of Columbus (or whoever it was) rambling on about how the world is a pear.

I feel a little better now.

Anyways, I started my own lesson plan for February.

For Biology, I'm sticking with Human 3D. I have to ask Dad to help me get rid of the old shortcuts, though, so I can reinstall it. I guess when Windows updated, it dumped the program. Whee. I might also use my anatomy colouring book as a study tool.

For World History, I'm going to read through the Lucent Library of Black History books (I think that's what the series is called), for Black History Month. I'm also going to continue reading The Complete Idiot's Guide to World Mythology until it's due back to the library on the 19th.

For Japanese, I'm going to continue watch Let's Learn Japanese, and try to practise writing in Japanese script.

For math, algebra. Polynomials at the moment, but hopefully I'll be rid of them in a few weeks.

For English, I think I'll read Roots by Alex Haley, and any library teen fiction I pick up.

For Art, Photoshop, Knitting, and maybe Corel Painter.

For Music, I started compiling a list of songs to practise.

For Creative Writing, refine my NaNo story and work on another story I started.

That's all for now.

Been a little while since I've posted...

So, here's a recap.

Friday

We went out to Michaels, thinking that their sale had already started. Turns out it didn't start until today (Saturday), so I got scolded for not reading the flyer properly, and then Mom made it sound like she wasn't going to let me go back the next sale for when the sale started, like some form of punishment. I freaked out in the store, and embarassed Mom. I also tried to refuse a coupon from someone, and Mom later told me off for 'being rude'.

I wound up getting two skeins of Phentex Worsted in a pretty yellow-green colourway. It literally looks like budgie feathers. I'm going to use that to make Grandma a Clapotis.

After that, we went to PetSmart to get breath-freshening dog treats (while walking the short distance to PetSmart, Mom told me off once more for my 'defeatist attitude'). We got these treats called Blue Chews for the dogs, and while we waited in line, Mom told me that the reason why I forgot to check the Michaels flyer was because I'm under stress, and that it was 'all right'. Huh.

When we got home, Mom checked the answering machine, and there was a message from Grandpa saying that Grandma's coming back here Monday. From what I've heard, they're taking her to a hospital downtown.

Saturday

I'm in bed, and Mom asks me if I want oatmeal. I say no. Then a few minutes later, she tells me that she's printing off a Michaels coupon. Then, she asks me if I'm dressed and if I've eaten, because we're going to Michaels in, like, 15 minutes!!! I needed a shower, too, but I didn't have enough time, so I had to have a very rushed wash. Meanwhile, I was screaming at my mother, who told me to act my age or she'd leave me at home.

SHE DIDN'T EVEN TELL ME THAT WE WERE GOING RIGHT AWAY!!!!! I WAS UNDER THE IMPRESSION THAT WE WOULDN'T GO UNTIL THAT AFTERNOON!!!! IF SHE'D TOLD ME THAT WE WERE GOING, I WOULD HAVE HAD A SHOWER RIGHT AWAY!!!!!

I feel better now. Almost.

So I got six skeins of Patons Decor in a pretty blue. While I was looking at the Decor, Mom asked me how much yarn I needed for the Mrs. Darcy cardigan, and I told her that I was going to use my green superwash for that. So she told me in a snarky tone, "Do you want your sweater to be Christmas green?"

I can't believe her sometimes.

We went to Giant Tiger next, where my mother actually bought these Texas Toast things. She never buys that kind of thing - jalapeno pepper poppers, yes. Pop Tarts, sometimes. But never something like frozen Texas Toast things. She also got her favourite chips while Dad kinda wandered off, and she told me to go with him and wait for her while she got them. I told Dad that she was getting her chips, and he got ticked that she wasn't getting his chips. And when he told her that much, she got pissed off. Long story short, he got a bag of barbecue, a bag of salt and vinegar and a bag of plain. Halle-frickin'-lujah.

Then it was off to Metro to buy more groceries, and where Mom got pissed off again. Grocery shopping with her can be so fun.

When we got home, I ate a sandwich, then I dried dishes for Dad while we complained about Mom. You know, some days I'm mad at my dad and complain about him with my mom, other days it's vice versa. This was one of the vice versa days.

I get the metal post for my tooth put in on Monday. Whoo-hoo. I hope Dr. G has me hopped up on plenty of drugs.

I feel stupid today

Have you ever had one of those days when you feel so stupid, even though you know deep down that you aren't completely stupid?

I hate algebra. Actually, I don't mind algebra, but I hate polynomials. Gah. The damn book isn't making sense to me, and then my mom and I fight over something in the book. And then I get depressed. I start feeling worthless.

And then my mom and I fight over post-secondary. I was trying to tell her that I only wanted to take nightschool courses and that's it, but I guess I sounded like I was saying that I didn't want to take any courses, because she said, "How are you getting into university then?" And I find it hard to tell her that I'm interested in music, and radio, and acting, because I feel like if I tell her what I'm really, really interested in, she'll just discourage me. Like when I said I should try out for the next season of Canadian Idol if they have tryouts in town again, and I seem to recall her saying that I have no vocal training, so I shouldn't try out. Uh, a lot of people who try out for Canadian Idol have no training.

Maybe I don't want to be a florist, a butler, or a bricklayer. Don't get me wrong, they're great careers, I just feel that I wouldn't be happy in those fields.

Doesn't she understand? I'm not happy. I feel like I'm not good enough for university, and that I'll never be good enough.

I'M NOT HAPPY!

I feel a little better now.

I need to vent

My parents appall me.

Seriously. Yeah, I've been known to go on and on about something, but yelling at me won't make me stop, it'll just infuriate me even more. Why don't they get that?! If they want respect from me, they need to treat me with respect, plain and simple.

My dad, for instance. We're at the library, and he told me off for 'going on and on' about something. He had told me to walk around to pay my fines because I forgot to remind the librarian that I had fines, and I don't know if she saw them on the monitor. So I'm about to walk around when my dad says, "Just hold on, and give them your card here!" And I called him a hypocrite. And I 'went on and on'. And he yelled at me.

It was raining when we went home, and when I got in the door, I took my shoes off, thinking Mom would yell at me if I walked on the wood flooring in wet running shoes. My dad, who came in after me, yelled at me for not stepping in (on the wood floor, in wet runners...), and he KICKED MY SHOES OUT OF THE WAY, OUT OF HIS WAY! AM I SOME KIND OF INCONVENIECE TO HIM OR SOMETHING?! THIS IS RIDICULOUS!

I swear, every time I go to the library with my father, he tells me that Mom and I need to stop reserving so much stuff. Hey, I can't control when it comes in!

I think I'll start walking to the library, even when I have a large amount of items to go back and/or pick up. Anything to avoid my old man. Yes, I'm willing to break my back to avoid going to the library with him. I need the fresh air anyhow.

My mom is nearly as bad. When I was crabby and recovering from that headache, my sister called after I'd calmed down, and she was tellig my sister that I get so frustrated over my algebra, and that the black belt test was so for me, and now... oh, and according to my mother, I should get my florist's certificate. Why would I need a florist's certificate?!

Whether you like it or not, MOM, I'm going to university. Got it?!

On top of that, I'm supposed to like Steph because she's my brother's pick. I never said I hated her. All I said was that she's rather irresponsible. She has allergies, and a cat. Now, I have no problem with folks getting married young, I just think that my brother is too immature to handle marriage. I don't even know where he's working anymore, and if he doesn't have a steady income, how is he gonna support Steph?

I can't wait 'til youth group starts up again.

I want to walk to the library tomorrow.

Since apparently I'm being very disagreeable, I'm gonna rebel. I think I should be a little self-indulgent. For too long, I've smiled, nodded my head, obeyed people, and didn't give myself credit.

I'm not such a bad person. I have skills. I can knit. I can read. I can do math, even though it drives me nuts. I can defend myself from an attacker. I can protest peacefully. I can play music - not as well as some kids, but I know how to read music, which is a plus. I can work, but nothing seems to grab me, which is why I don't have a job. I am not completely worthless. I have potential.

I'm not going to let anyone squash my dreams. I will work in radio. I will continue playing music, and hopefully, I'll become a session musician or a singer. I love to sing. And I think, if given the chance, I would love to act. Because I was in karate for so long, I never took acting classes. Maybe I'll start.

Maybe I'll write for a living, too. Heck, Stephen King writes and is in a band. If he can do it, I can, too. And my parents aren't going to stop me.

Now, my dears, here's some music. I believe my Ravelry friend, Dianna, would call these songs 'pretty noises', right, Dianna? :)

First, Blitzkrieg Bop by The Ramones




Bad Reputation by Joan Jett. This video might not be suitable for younger readers, or readers who don't like swearing.




Rock n' Roll High School by The Ramones




My Generation by The Who

Take that, Combat Mom

My mother, well, she's in combat mode today. So I'm up here fuming with my music blaring. First it was the Rocky Horror soundtrack. Now it's Queen.

Man, I love being able to access the internet from the Spare Oom and blast music.

We got into a fight over school safety - I know, it's an odd subject to argue over, but we're a strange family. You see, we were watching Dr Phil at the time, and the episode was about violence in school. So I'm trying to get my point across, and she's cutting me off, and gets all offended when I tell her not to interrupt, because apparently I sound condescending. I probably did sound rude, but trust me, that was not what I was aiming for. So I hide up here, and scream that she always has to be right, and it's been that way since the day I was born. Dad calls me back down and calmly tells me that that was uncalled for and that the sun doesn't shine outta my, er, butt. I would use the alternative word, which is what he actually used, but I don't want to offend anyone. You have to feel sorry for my dad, really. He got caught in the middle of a catfight (again, I'll avoid using the explicit alternative).

So now I'm up here, blogging, with a Ravelry window open, Queen's greatest hits blaring, and a can of V8 on my desk.

♪Can anybody find me somebody to looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove?♪