One of those days

So it's been one of those days where I don't know what to do, what to say, or how to feel. I want to put this strange feeling into words, but it's tricky. I sometime try to put my feeling into rhyming verse, but that doesn't always work.

I might try rhyming poetry or songwriting again. I need to do something to express how I feel - speaking doesn't seem to be enough. A rant can be helpful, though - I usually feel a lot better after a good rant. But lately I've been having trouble finding the words to use in rant form. Part of me is scared of saying too much, or scared of looking pathetic or like I'm whining. I don't want to appear pitiful. But at the same time, I want somebody to hear me.

It's like I want to shout, but can't find the words. And it pisses me off when shit happens to people I care about, but other people connected to said persons just don't care. It drives me up the friggin' wall. If I could take kickboxing classes, I probably wouldn't feel this awful, but the only place that offers semi-contact kickboxing is my old dojo - and I am NOT going back there. Not a chance. And I don't want to take cardio kickboxing, because it's not to my liking. Maybe I can just shadow-box at home. But hitting a punching bag feels so much better.

I feel like I want to cry out a plea to someone I know, but I don't want them to push me away because of it. But living every day feeling like a kettle about to boil is not very pleasant.

Maybe I need to start a new knitting project. A big knitting project, like a shawl, that will keep me busy for a few months. Or maybe I'll dig up a novel draft to work on, or dig out my oil pastels and attempt some art. Something to distract me from the drama in my life.

First update in forever! Or, Family Reunion and Other Happenings.

So, the family reunion wasn't so bad. And it wasn't too hot outside, either - quite the opposite. It rained. A lot. And it was very windy. I got to see some old photographs of my mom, my great-grandparents, and a bunch of other people whose names I can't remember.

My computer monitor died a few days ago, so Dad hooked up the monitor from our old Hewlett Packard computer. The contrast has gone on it, so the colours come up very dark. You know those old NES games, with the bright oranges and blues, often on a black background? That's basically what my screen looks like. When I play FishVille on it, the orange fish seem to glow oddly, and my darker fish disappear. So, I go on my dad's computer when no one else is using it. I'm using it right now, because I wanted to feed my FishVille fish.

I watched Growing Up Twisted on A&E last night. It's like Gene Simmons' Family Jewels, only this time it's Dee Snider's family. Dee Snider, for those who don't know, is the frontman from Twisted Sister. The show is hilarious - Dee's sons, Cody and Shane, are a riot. Dee has another son, Jesse, who is a musician as well and was on a VH1 show called Rock the Cradle. I've blogged about the show before, as I was watching it on Much (a Canadian cable/satellite music channel, like VH1). Rock the Cradle was a reality show where children of musicians competed against each other. Some other kids of musicians were Crosby Loggins (son of Kenny Loggins), who won the competition; Lucy Walsh (daughter of Joe Walsh of the Eagles), and Chloe Lattanzi (daughter of Olivia Newton-John). I wasn't happy with the end result; I think Jesse should have won.

I watched a bit of And Now for Something Completely Different yesterday. So funny. "This is an EX-PARROT!"

Anyway, I can't think of anything else to say. Except that I'm hungry. I think I'll have a chicken salad sandwich...

Haven't posted in a while.

I know, I'm terrible.

I vacuumed up a spider today. It was quite liberating. The spider was huge, too - probably the size of a quarter, at least the size of a nickel, anyway.

Crap, now I have a sharp pain in the back of my head. We must be getting rain this week.

I watched The Breakfast Club today. It was AWESOME :) The DVD I have out of the library has a couple of featurettes, both of which were interesting.

But now I'm feeling melancholy again. It has a bit to do with an upcoming family reunion, and the fact that I can't even bring a book to said reunion (because Mom says it's 'rude'). It's gonna suck: outdoors, in the middle of frickin' July, with a bunch of people who aren't gonna take me seriously. At least my sister's gonna try to come up for this thing, and Justin will probably come with us, so I won't be completely alone. I'll still be bored to death, though.

If I didn't care about how Mom would react, I'd just stay home. But I hate to upset her, so I'll go and try to behave. I really don't want to go. I don't think Dad does, either, because he keeps joking about how he wants to go visit friends elsewhere. I can't say I blame him for wanting to ditch. Neither of us seem to be well received by relatives.

I still don't think it's fair that I can't bring a book. What else am I supposed to do?

Also, this video is awesome...

Awesome :)

So today I logged on to Q107's listener's club, because I got my bonus code in my e-mail. Remembering that one of the DJs did a phone interview with Meatloaf, I go on to her blog on the site and listen to the interview, and post it on my mom's Facebook because she loves him.

I'm a fan, too. He's performing in Oshawa tonight, but I didn't get tickets because: 1) Oshawa is a long drive from where I am, 2) there were no draws for tickets on the listener's club, and 3) as much as I wanted to try to call in to the radio station to win tickets, I knew I wouldn't get in, because the station is in Toronto and not only would it be a long-distance call, but I wouldn't have gotten through because there were probably loads of people in Toronto calling in.

So anyway, after I posted the interview link, I decided to try sending in a request for the All-Request Lunch Hour, and I asked them to play some Meatloaf - either 'You Took The Words Right Out of My Mouth', or 'Paradise By the Dashboard Light'. They played 'All Revved Up With No Place to Go', which made me happy. I actually got up and danced around when the song was playing, and sang/lip-synced along ;) They didn't play either song that I requested, but that's fine - I imagine they'll play more Meatloaf later as they're gearing up for the concert, and after the concert as everybody's going home. They usually do that for concerts that they cover.

I really hope that Meatloaf comes here sometime. It'd be a real treat for Mom and me.

Also, I watched An Education the other day. It was pretty good. I kinda want to try knitting Jenny's school scarf: it's grey and dark red, striped just like a Hogwarts scarf. I like it. I have The Breakfast Club waiting for me at the library, so that makes me happy. I might reserve more manga, or perhaps a light novel, after I pick up my stuff.

YEAH!!!

The Netherlands beat Brazil in the World Cup!!!! :D

Also, here's a picture of the dishcloth:





Cute, right? :) I love how the corner striped. I'm quite proud of this little cloth.

The new HPKCHC assignments have been posted, and I'm trying to decide what to make. There are a bunch of assignments that I like, so it's tough to decide on what to attempt first. The month is still young, though.

Also, the new items got added to the library catalog yesterday, so right at 6:00 I raced upstairs to fire up my computer. I went through the new CDs first, and they had added a couple of Freddie Mercury albums and a Queen album that I had sent in purchase requests for, so that made me happy. They also added a live Sting album, which I reserved. After that I went through the DVDs and found lots to reserve: Cop Out, a Peanuts collection, the fourth season of Doc Martin, Skellig (which is based on a really good book by David Almond - I highly recommend it)... I think there was one or two other DVDs, but I can't remember the names. I didn't reserve a lot of books, just a couple of knitting books and a National Geographic book.

Some idiots were in the alley yesterday setting off fireworks in broad daylight. Yes, daylight. It started at around 11:30 in the morning, I think. One of them actually made me jump while I was on my computer.

That's all, I think.

Le sigh...

Japan lost to Paraguay today. Spain beat Portugal, so the quarter-finals should be interesting...

I watched The Blind Side the other day. I loved it - Sandra Bullock was amazing in it. Next library DVD for me to watch is An Education.

I'm trying to finish Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. I'm about a quarter, maybe a third of the way through.

I've been drinking tea again. I stopped for a little while because it was tasting odd to me, but I think I realized why: I was brewing my tea in my mug instead of in a measuring cup. I heat up the water in a plastic measuring cup in the microwave, so sometimes I would just put the tea bag in the measuring cup. Now that I've started doing that again, my tea isn't tasting funny, and my mug isn't too hot to hold.

Also, I'm knitting a dishcloth with some white and pink variegated yarn. It looks so cute! :)

Footie fever

I watched Japan's match against Denmark today, and they won 3-1!!! So now they advance to the Round of 16 :D

I'm thinking about doing a timeline post soon. I saw a post like that on one of my Ravelry friends' blogs and thought, hey, I should do one. After all, there are many karate and Girl Guides/Brownies/Sparks stories I haven't told.

I've been thinking about Guides lately. I was a Spark for one year, a Brownie for two, and a Guide for one. The only reason I didn't go back for my second year of Guides was because the group was very small and disorganized - it was hard to get any badge work approved by a leader, because they only did an organized badge work 'judging' once in a while. And if I had gone back for a second year, I wouldn't have joined karate and met Holly, so I'm glad I didn't go back.

I do want to work on putting the rest of my badges on my Brownie and Guide sashes, though. I still have a handful for each sash that haven't been sewn on yet, and I should practice sewing anyway. I have to look in my mom's sewing box for thread, though, because I don't have any spools of my own. Either that, or I'll go to Len's or Fabricland to get a few colours of thread - I imagine there may be a 'starter kit' of thread.

That's all. See ya!