These are the things I can do without

Yes, I'm listening to 'Shout' by Tears For Fears. But I actually have a list of things I can do without:

1. Dad dozing on the couch when he's supposed to drive me to the library.
2. Uncle Brent canceling Father's Day dinner at his place without actually telling us.
3. Dad acting like I'm a miserable bitch when I say something non-miserable.
4. Dad opening new containers of food (like jam) without looking through the entire fridge for an open one first.
5. Dad bitching about us 'reserving too much stuff from the library', as if we can control what comes in and when.
6. Dale (Grandpa) being such an ass, especially when we try to buy him a nice gift and he sneers about it.
7. Dale not asking what I want for a career, or asking me what activities I'm doing. I hate it when Mom had to tell him everything, because he just didn't give a shit - and he still doesn't!
8. Feeling like I'm inferior to my cousin Becca, because she got more attention when we were kids.
9. Feeling like I'm ugly, or overweight. I'm not really overweight, just a little out of shape.
10. Feeling like I have no skills.

That was a much longer list than I'd intended. oops.

I think I take things way too seriously. Nobody's perfect, obviously, but I often feel like I have to be. It just pisses me off when my aunt won't even say hi to me or my parents. What did I do to her? Nothing I can recall. She didn't even put my name on the Christmas card she gave us, just 'family'; and gave cards to my siblings. WTF?

I still don't have a clue what I want to do for a living. I haven't even worked through my GED book in about a week - I'll get back to it on Monday, though. It's bad enough that my lazy-ass brother beat me to getting a beginner's permit. It's even worse that people don't 'get' why I don't have a license. Never mind that I had dental surgery done, right?

This post is far too long, and very bitter. Oh well.

I hate feeling incompetent. I hate feeling mediocre because I'm not a carbon-copy of Becca. I'm sorry that I was homeschooled. I'm sorry that I'm an introvert. I'm sorry that I don't have a boyfriend, that I don't have a driver's license, that I don't have a career plan on a presentation board. I'M SO EFFING SORRY.

I don't think humidity agrees with me. I'm getting a killer headache, and I've got a bad temper.

Weirdness continues

I can hear an ice cream truck somewhere in the neighborhood. I sat and listened by the window, just to make sure it wasn't somebody's TV (there's a commercial for some bank that has an ice cream truck in it), but when I heard it continue I yelled, "OH, HELL NO!"

I think it's gone away now.

So I had trouble sleeping last night because I had all this anxiety over mostly stupid stuff. And then this morning I just got so pissed off at everyone - well, not everyone, but my extended family, because I feel like everybody's whispering about how I don't have a job, a driver's license or a career plan. Honestly, is it so bad that I don't have my beginner's license yet? Loads of people survive without one! I just hate how people think that as soon as you're old enough, you have to go out and get your license! And I don't need to hear that my bratty, spoiled cousin has a job at the mall. I really don't! That, and I'm not very impressed with Uncle Brent right now - I won't say much, because relatives I actually like (read: not Brent, Patti, or my grandfather) deserve their privacy, but let's just say Brent needs to get his priorities straight and show some consideration for his kids instead of focusing on his upcoming second marriage.

After my 'I hate my relatives' ranting, I started to feel very "Screw the world! I'm not gonna open the door, I'm gonna friggin' kick it down!" A lot of Green Day songs were played.

I finished watching Mad Men. One more DVD to watch, and then I'm off to the library. and Pirate Radio is in, which is great. Off to watch Castle on the PVR now. Sayonara!